Dream or real, it was an amazing time. To paraphrase Jon Bon Jovi, we saw a thousand faces, and we rocked several of them. A more complete, date-by-date recap will follow, but I think the best gauge for how well this tour went (and all tours, indeed), is the most basic: to what extent did it mirror Spinal Tap’s 1984 “Tap into America” tour?

“Hello Cleveland!” Okay, so we were not booked into many arenas with massive, labyrinthine backstage areas convoluted enough for the band to get lost several times over on the way from dressing room to stage. However, we did have our own version in Boston. On the way to what would prove to be an awesome show–a DIY underground rock party at an art loft–we were treated to an extended tour of the city, as we tried to reconcile poor directions with an at-best unhelpful, at-worst deliberately misleading Mrs. GPS voice on Ben’s cell phone. (The HAL 9000-like tendencies of said robotic woman would prove to be a sad theme on the tour). Close call, but I’m giving it to us.

“This one goes to 11.” Spinal Tap has been famously called one of the loudest bands in the world. While our amps unfortunately go to the standard 10, we were told–several times by people who didn’t know each other–that we were “loud as shit.”

Stonehenge. Luckily, the Bedroom’s relatively sparse special effects and stage scenery prevents SNAFU’s like a stonhenge monument in danger of being crushed by a dwarf. The closest we came would have been in New London, CT, where the tiny stage clearly not meant for guitar-guitar-bass-drums was in danger of being crushed by US. But TLB did not get the 2009 Circus Magazine “Make the Best of It” Award for nothing, and rocked that stage to within an inch of its life.

Herpes. In “Spinal Tap,” each band member shows up to an industry party with some unsightly…blemishes. This is one area we did NOT match Tap. But in this case, that’s definitely a good thing.

“Seems that ‘Sex Farm’ is on the charts in Japan…” The happy ending for Spinal Tap is, after some paltry crowds, finding their popularity in Japan, and playing for packed houses there. I couldn’t call any of the Bedroom’s shows letdowns, but the 1-2 punch of our Washington DC and New York City shows was definitely a high point. Club Iota in DC was a blast–the room sounded great, the crowd was excited/exciting, and good vibes abounded. Piano’s in NYC was something else; the conflagration of a lot of old friends and a city with great taste in music made for a sold out show, packed house, and one of the funnest nights I’ve ever had.

Graceland. The only sightseeing Spinal Tap gets to indulge in is a somewhat morbid trip to Graceland and Elvis’ grave, where they perform either the best or worst a capella rendition of “Heartbreak Hotel” ever. TLB was a little luckier. From the honkytonks of downtown Nashville, historic recording studios in Atlanta, a movingly surreal 3:30am trip to the Lincoln Memorial, to countless others, I can attest touring with a rock band is absolutely the coolest way to see this cool country.

Lindberg Air Force Base. Tap’s final show proves disastrous. Playing at an Air Force mixer, Nigel Tufnel’s wireless guitar receiver picks up some air traffic control interference, ruining the song, and leading to the break up of the band. It was a bad situation, caused by a rock band playing a location unprepared for such rockingness. Our version took place in Portsmouth, NH, where the venue was missing….a stage. And a PA system. While this might derail Spinal Tap and most bands, not the Bedroom. We created a makeshift stage, Ben mightily and MacGuyver-ally cobbled together a PA, and we had one of the best shows of the tour. Take that, Kings of Leon-being-assaulted-by-pigeon-shit.

“Don’t touch it. Don’t even point at it.” A key scene in “Tap” finds Nigel showing off his massive music gear room to Rob Reiner. Dozens of guitars, amps, some even with the tag still on it. That ludicrous assemblage of equipment was not unlike the back of our trusty rented van, Cassandra. Named after the beautiful prophet of Greek mythology, our vehicular Cassandra was not blessed with prophecy, and didn’t see it coming when four smelly dudes began loading 5 guitars, 1 bass, 2 giant guitar amps, and 3-part bass rig, 2 pedal boards, a massive drum set, and said dudes and their luggage (in the case of Isaac and Manny, HUGE luggage). But she made it through the whole trip; the only damage being a bent mirror, caused by a Ferris-Bueller-esque parking garage attendant.

All told, a very Tap tour, in a great way. We had an absolute blast. Thank you to everyone who came out to the shows, and we had a blast meeting all the new friends we made.

Our southern leg will take us from Nashville to Knoxville (7/30) to Birmingham (7/31) to Atlanta (8/1) to Athens (8/2) to Asheville (8/3).

After a few breaths we continue the non-stop rocking up north, hitting Arlington (8/6), New York (8/7), Philadelphia (8/8), Hartford (8/9), New London (8/10), Worcester (8/11), Boston (8/12), Portsmouth (8/13) and Kittery (8/14).

You know us, we’re all about word-of-mouth, so in addition to packing your hibachi and following us up the East Coast, we hope you’ll spread the word to all the cool people you know on our route.

Can’t wait to see you all!

First, for you Southern California fans, we will be playing at the Viper Room on July 17th. It’s a Saturday, it’s at 9pm, and it’s gonna melt your face. You have no excuse. Tickets are available here.

Plus, it will be your last chance to see TLB for a loooooong time, as we will be embarking on a massive east coast tour at the end of the month. Check out the tour dates at our myspace.

Plus plus, to whet your appetite, we’ve posted a new song you may have heard at recent shows. It’s called “Allison,” it’s live, and your ears will be happy when it hits them. Check it out on our Facebook or Myspace, and download it from the bootlegs page on this website.

See you soon, Viper Room and east coast!

THE LINCOLN BEDROOM
JULY 17, 2010 at 9pm
@ THE VIPER ROOM
8842 W. Sunset Blvd, 90069
21+; $10 in advance; $15 at the door

PERONI PRESENTS AN LJAM MUSIC SERIES
The Lincoln Bedroom Thursday June 17 at 10pm
at MOLLY MALONE’S– 575 S Fairfax Ave, 90036
with Diving Bells and Max Lugavere
$10 Cover; FREE PERONI; Doors at 7:30; 21+

First, this Saturday, check out the ‘Bedroom in all its rockin’ glory at a very cool venue, The Unknown Theater at 10 PM. Then, on Tuesday at 10, check out the Dave and Isaac for a very special episode of the Lincoln Bedroom, as we perform an intimate, acoustic set at Room 5! Come hear stripped-down versions of your favorite songs, and watch as we learn an important message about telling the truth.

See you there(s)!

And to christen our new “bootlegs” page (above, under the MEDIA tab), we posted the audio of the entire show! If you want to hear the band without being distracted by the insane handsomeness of the band members, this is for you!

You can pick a song and stream it right from this site, or download it as a ZIP file to do with as you please. We only ask you use it for good, not evil.

Click here to be magically whisked away to the bootlegs page.